After I described my first meditation into the Underworld to the shaman, her advice was that I should go back down again. She said there is always more to see and that I should look for any deities while I was there.
I went into the hole of my tree, taking the now familiar staircase down to the Underworld. With a hawk for my protection again, I entered the same wooded area as before. The fire was still there but there wasn't anyone around it. I stood around waiting a while before I decided maybe I should go to that beach area and see my power animal. I panned my vision to the right, spotted the beach, and started walking towards it. When I reached the sand, I saw some sea shells scattered around and even a little turtle. There were huge, dead logs scattered along the shore. I sat down and looked out at the water, waiting.
I sat for a few minutes then remembered something else the shaman had said: Sometimes you have to journey through the Underworld to see what you're supposed to see. I told my hawk to stay behind as I jumped into the water and started swimming. I stopped pretty far out in the open water and said, "If you're my power animal, then I want you to come to me."
Suddenly, a dolphin was right there before me. I reached my hand out to feel it's smooth, wet skin. I grabbed onto it's topfin and it began to pull me through the water. I could really feel the resistance of the water against me and I thought to myself, "I've never swam with a dolphin before!"
The dolphin started picking up speed and I felt myself start to tip back. I gripped its fin a little tighter and said, "Oh man, here we go," because I knew it was getting ready to jump. Even though I was in a meditation, it felt so real that I held my breath. We launched up out of the water and then plunged down and under with a giant splash. There was darkness for a second, but then as we swam around I could see I was surrounded by all sorts of purple coral. I was taking in all the color when I remembered that I was underwater and I would need air long before my dolphin would.
I was about to panic when suddenly I felt a woman's presence all around me. I couldn't quite make out what she looked like but she felt very fish-like. I wanted to say she felt like a mermaid of some sorts but one thing I felt for certain was that she was a woman. Without actual words, she told me that I didn't need to breathe underwater here and she helped me feel calm again. I was then pulled away by the dolphin very quickly. I was jerked around left and right and it felt frantic, like it needed to take me somewhere. It made eyes on a hole in the ocean floor and dove straight into it. I could feel a struggle in the water, like someone was drowning and I heard myself say, "I have a memory in water." Everything went blank for another second and then I was basically spit back out onto the beach where I started.
Kind of baffled, I reached out for my protection hawk and it landed on my shoulder. Together we walked back towards the fire. I was feeling tired and ready to end the meditation until I saw a house by the campfire that I hadn't seen before. It was a large log cabin and it was all lit up inside. I felt compelled to explore it, so I walked up the porch and into the house. I took a look around inside and said, "I think I recognize this layout."
A voice responded, "Yes, because you built it."
"Are there any spirit guides here?" I asked.
"She's upstairs," said the voice again.
I reached the top of the stairs and entered a room to the left. There was an old woman sitting in a chair and she looked like how I remembered my great-grandmother. As if to respond to my thought she said, "I can look like this, or anyone else. But you've been thinking about your great grandma lately so here I am."
She was right; my mother and I had been talking about my how it was my great grandma's birthday recently, so she had definitely been on my mind. I sat across from her on an old metal bed that was draped in a large colorful quilt. I took a deep breath and asked her the only question that felt important:
"Am I on the right path?"
She smiled and said, "Everything you do is the right path. Stop saying you're going to do things and start doing more. You need to let go of fear. Fear serves no purpose on your path, my dear. Believe in yourself and keep coming back to see me. If you'd like to rest, you can lay down on the bed until you're ready."
I told her that I didn't feel tired anymore and I thanked her for her guidance. I went back down the stairs and my Native American ancestor was standing there waiting. Before I left, I remembered I was supposed to I ask if there were any deities that I was supposed to see. Without even asking the question, I already knew the answer. The woman I met in the water was some sort of deity and I felt this was confirmed by my ancestor. I gave many thanks again and walked back up the stairs, leaving behind the Underworld once more.
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